I have a friend, lets call her Lea. Lea has a sister named Mel. Mel is married but separated and is cheating on her husband with another man (who is married himself) Now Lea does NOT approve of this and has expressed her concern. BUT is still there for her sister and still supports and loves her sister. To me that is what "being sisters" is all about. I just find it ironic that my sister cant even support me and my husband trying to have a baby and Lea can support and love her sister Mel cheating. Frankly it pisses me off...
Okay so some back history - my sister and I are not on good terms. For the past year or so she really hasn't been the best sister. Ignorant about my infertility, unsupportive in my decisions to try and get pregnant, and voiced her opinions of "concern". A few times I tried to reach out to her for her love and support and pretty much got denied. She never really showed me that she cared about anything that I was going through - emotionally or physically.
As most of you know I decided to go through IVF about 2 months ago. Since my sister didn't even know about any of my infertility visits, clomid, IUI's, injectables - why should I tell her that I was going through something as evasive as IVF? Well my mom ended up telling her. Fine. So she knows. She has since called and talked to me twice and not once brought that or the subject of me trying to have a baby! But instead shoved the fact that her 2 kids have been annoying her lately; Not something I really cared to hear at that point.
So my issue is....I have to tell her at some point that I am pregnant. So how am I going to do that? When is the right time to do so? I think I want to wait until the second tri. She has 2 kids - both at an age where they would understand what it would mean to be pregnant. What I was thinking was...Maybe I ask the kids (with my sister in earshot of course) if they wanted a baby cousin. And say..."because your Aunt Ashley and Uncle Jason are having a baby!" This way I tell the kids and my sister all at once and I don't have to confront her and tell her myself. Something that I would rather not do since she has been SO UNSUPPORTIVE during the past year and half of my life.
Looking back on my childhood dreams I never would have thought that this would be the outcome of the 2 biggest events in my life. (marriage and baby) Who would have thought that my own sister would be the last to know that I am pregnant, or show up really late to my wedding. But I guess that goes without saying that Things Never Happen The Way They Are Planned!
So help me girls!!! What do I do????
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If it were me, I wouldn't tell her.....I'd let her find out on her own or wait until you are showing and say "Oh I didn't tell you, I guess you were right all the medical treatments they have finally paid off after 2yrs...."
ReplyDeleteShe is so rude! How old is your sister btw?
Seriously I don't understand your sisters problem. As a sister she should be excited for you! The only thing I can think of is she's not happy with herself and her life maybe it didn't turn out the way she wanted it and maybe is jealous of you and your husband and your little bundle that grows!!! I'm sorry I really have no advice other than to tell her to suck it up deal with the fact that you and your hubby are happy and excited and if she doesn't want to be happy for you she need not to express it and put a damper on your parade!!!
ReplyDeleteYa know, I would be really tempted not to tell her, too. But I think your solution of telling her kids in front of her is very diplomatic. And I agree with waiting until the 2nd tri. There's a good chance she'll find out from somebody else before then, and then you'll be off the hook altogether! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry she is such a pain. If it helps, my sister is being exactly the same way lately, so I feel ya.
I think your sister needs a reality check. (Hugs) Sorry she isn't there for you.
ReplyDeleteI do like your idea of telling her kids.
I wish I HAD a real sister whom I could confide in. I have step sisters that treat me as such. :|
ReplyDeleteSorry your sister isn't that supportive of you.
My sister is 36 years old. You would think she would have some maturity at that age!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your words of wisdom ladies!
I like your idea of telling her kids! That or as the other girls said, let her find out on her own. If your mom told her about the IVF she might tell her about the pg too. Just a thought! Sorry sisters can be such %^*$@*&!!
ReplyDeletehmmm...maybe just let your mom tell her and see if she even bothers to call to congratulate you. Sorry you have to deal with crap like this! Your sister should be right there supporting you!
ReplyDeleteSounds like she just wants to ignore it as long as possible. Does she have a reason to be jealous (maybe her life isn't going exactly as planned?)? I don't know but I'm sorry she's acting that way.
ReplyDelete{{HUGS}}