my sister...

Thanks for your kind words about ending breastfeeding. Today Mackenzie is 5 months so I at least made it this far!! I was getting really down on myself for not being able to continue it any longer. I didn't pump at all yesterday but still got to nurse her 2 times - morning and night. So I am going to continue this for as long as I can. We will see how it goes!!

(trigs)
Sooo....I never blogged about this yet because it would make it all the more real. But I think I have come to terms about it. (yeah right) Do you remember my whole ordeal with my sister? How uncompassionate, unresponsive and unsympathetic she was through my infertility travels? I wrote her this whole long letter to her and got no response back. Yeah well she is pregnant. 20 weeks actually. It took me by surprise since she announced it very shortly after I gave birth to Mackenzie. The best part about it - baby was an Ooops baby! Just like her other 2 kids. WTF! It was almost like a dig at me. "We weren't even trying!" "It happened on Valentines Day" BARF!!! I love my sister, and I will love this baby but I still cant believe that she is pregnant. She is also almost 40. Not that age matters but we all know that the older you get the harder it is to conceive...yet another dig at my infertility. (I am 10 years younger than her)

I don't know why but the whole thing just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Something tells me that she wanted to get pregnant again and tell me it was an oops just to rub it in my face. Why do I feel that way? Because of her lack of support, emotion, sisterly love and compassion when I was trying like hell to get pregnant. If she was there for me I know I would not feel this way. It doesnt help that when I bring up anything about my infertility she is uncomfortably silent. She will never understand. Never.

Oh yeah I don't think I told you that my sister in law is also pregnant. She is due after the summer and announced her pregnancy about a week before I went into labor. She said she got preggo the first month they started trying. Uggh! If it were only that easy. This is the same chick that announced her first pregnancy 3 DAYS before my wedding! Bitch always like to steal my thunder. I couldn't believe she was doing it again. But I got over it once I saw my little girls face.  :)

Anyways...so that my family life right now...surrounded by fertile mertiles.....ughhh!

It was a good run...

Well it was a good run but I think its about over. My breastfeeding has pretty much come to an end. 5 months - I think I did a pretty good job. My goal was 6 months but I just dont forsee that happening. Mackenzie eats way too much. While at work she does 3 bottles of 7 ounces. I only pumped 10 ounces at work yesterday. My supply has been decreasing and she is getting hungrier! If it wasnt for my reserve that I had (about a months supply) I would have been done a lot earlier. I am glad that I pumped so much while I was on maternity leave - it definitely allowed me to continue breastfeeding a lot longer.

But my reserve is pretty much gone and I cant pump enough for her daily feedings. I think I am still going to try and nurse her first thing in the morning and maybe before bed. But as for all the in-between feedings I will be formula feeding. She wont eat the powdered formula...although I wouldnt blame her. Has anyone ever tried tasting it??? It is absolutely disgusting - tastes like metal! So we buy her the ready made formula and she likes that much better. It does taste better but is more expensive!

So I bid farwell to breastfeeding. It was good while it lasted. I loved every minute of it and will miss the closeness that I had with Mackenzie during her feedings. I know if I wasnt working I would still be nursing, but I feel like its near impossible to nurse for an entire year while working a full time job. So I am very proud of myself that I got this far. And hopefully I can continue one or two feedings until shes 6 months!

Ears Pierced

Mackenzie got her ears pierced this past weekend!

Movie

Here is the movie that I made. The first part of it I was trying to videotape it on my own (not so successful but it was still cute) but then Jay came home and he taped the second half of the video for me!
Dont mind my voice - it's always high-pitched when I am talking to Mackenzie!! :) haha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzvoehXwS6I

Mackenzie is Strong!

So yesterday I was doing my normal exersizes with Mackenzie and she surprised me once again. From a laying down position I have her grab my fingers and she sits up. Then she pushes on her feet and gets herself in a standing position. Then if I lean her forward a little bit she begins to take steps!!! She is only 4 and a half months old and she is already proving to me that she is sooo strong. Jay thinks she is going to walk early. My mom told me I started to take my first steps alone at 9 months...so we will see!!

She has been pulling herself up to a standing position for a few weeks now but just yesterday she started to take the steps forward. I think it has to do with her walker we broke out a few days ago. She now knows that her feet make her mobile!!!

I have this on video but I am not sure how to get it onto the site. If anything Ill put it on youtube.com and give you guys the link...its sooo cute!

new do

I saw that Christina posted her new hair do...so here is mine! I decided to get away from the blonde highlights (saving me time and money) and I went back to my natural hair color plus a little shorter!

I am the one on the left for those of you who didnt know! :)