Tuesday Blues

Back to work. Yuck. Sometimes I hate being here. Get up at 7, to work at 8:30, sit at my computer ALL DAY, do work as it comes in, play on the internet when I am bored, go to lunch, get that 3:00 slump - when you feel the day is never going to end, and finally race out that door at 5:30. I cant wait to be a teacher, at least I will be a little more in charge of my day and be on my feet more. I feel so blah, so unmotivated, so lethargic. I was a waitress for about 7 years...all throughout high school and college. I am used to being on my feet, as a matter of fact I liked it. I am getting real sick of sitting on my ass all day long, eating, thinking, eating, sitting, thinking, sitting, eating, waiting. A vicious circle I need to get out of!! Hopefully one day soon . . .

DH and I were arguing yesterday : ( I think it was more me then anything. He was trying so hard to get me to laugh and I was trying so hard not to laugh. I think I was just in one of my moods, because a few hours later and it was all forgotten. I love how we fight, but not really fight. We both understand that we just need time to pass, have a civil discussion and let bygones be bygones. Very rarely do we have screaming matches. Although we do throw out a name or two sometimes! ; )

I got a call from my RE today. I went in this morning for progesterone blood work and my levels came back good - 19.7. Not as high as last time, but I didn't fast (not knowing any better) I had coffee, which could have made a difference?? So now I wait some more! Fun-Fun. I go in for a BPT on the 27th, but last time I got AF early. So I am waiting for her to rear her ugly head on the 24th - CD27.

Jay thinks that this is it. He truly does. And he has never said that before, so I pray to God that he is right. I dont know how much more he can take of this, or me for that matter.

I know that I am young, and we have time, but when your ready, your ready. And I have been ready for about 2 years. We have only been trying for about a year. But about 2 years ago I wanted to at least go off the BCP. He insisted we wait, telling me, when we have things under control (meaning our house, money, construction etc) I totally understood where he was coming from, but knew in my heart that we would have trouble. And thats why I wanted to try extra early. But regardless of the past, we are here now....in the 2ww!! Praying that this is it!