I am back at work now. Good news is that I will be a better blogger, bad news is that it feels like my heart is ripped out of my chest. I honestly feel like I am on the verge of depression. I know that its is only the second day and that I need to give it time. But I dont want to. I dont want to get used to being away from my baby for 10 hours of the day. I dont want to get used to coming to work 4 days a week and leaving my baby with complete strangers.
I am sure it would help if I was leaving her with family but I have to drop her off with someone I dont know and probably doesnt really care about my child. I dont know how to deal with this feeling inside. I just want to scream. I know how lucky and thankful that I am to have Mack in my life and I feel like everything that I went through to get here makes this transition even worse.
Jay and I have exhausted every possibility of me staying home and we come up short every time. What happened to being able to live on 1 income? What happened to stay at home mothers? I feel like my husband has to be making 6 figures in order for me to stay home and for us to live comfortably. Why does life have to be so unfair? In so many ways?
I feel like a part of me is missing right now. I dont feel right. I dont feel like myself.
A mother should not have to be separated from her child this early on.
Sorry this is such a pity party...its just a new feeling. A feeling I HATE.
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I think I totally understand you! My baby isn't here yet but I'm having the same fears right now. I do NOT want to have to leave him every day at a daycare where I know no one. I have no family that is able to watch him so that's our only option too. It sucks. Our only other option is for DH to get a 2nd job and that isn't fair for him to be away from him all the time either. Sucks. Hope it gets better for you.
ReplyDeletei totally understand. the only thing keeping me from being a SAHM is $800 a month. :( we are busting our butts to get there.
ReplyDeletebeing at work will get easier. it is very very hard to leave your baby. i hope it gets better soon for you.
HUGS!!!!!
I am so sorry, hon. I hope it gets easier for you. I wish you could stay ho
ReplyDeletee with your little one forever. It's not fair. It's so not fair!!
(((Hugs))) I'm sorry! I hope it gets easier, and I'm sure it will, even though it does totally SUCK!!
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))) I feel your pain and it reminded me of that hurt. I was fortunate to stay home for 10 mos with my son but only 6 weeks with my daughter. It is a horrible feeling and I know it sounds cliche but it will get easier. Not that it will ever be EASY, just a little easier. I'm sending huge (((HUGS))) your way!
ReplyDelete((Hugs)) coming your way!!
ReplyDelete(Hugs) I do hope it gets easier, or better yet, you can somehow find a way to stay at home.
ReplyDeleteI hear you, I'm deeply saddened by having to go to work and leave my little one too! :(
ReplyDeleteThat's awful. And here I can't fathom being seperated from my baby at 1 year and I'm not planning to go back to work once my maternity leave is up next March. I think it's terrible that mat leaves are so short in the states. It's horrendous.
ReplyDeleteI hope it gets easier for you. I know it got easier for me once Annika started to smile when I'd pick her up from daycare. It made me feel like she was happy there and happy to see me. {{HUGS}}
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I am only working part time from home and I don't even want to do that. We are kind of poor because of it, but oh well for now.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
(((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteMy heart is hurting for you. I know I'll feel the same way about leaving Austin in a few months.